Man did God Bless me last night.
We closed up at 8 and went to this $12 Asian Buffet.
1 Entire California Roll
1 Entire Philidelphia Roll
1 Entire plate of Random Sushi
Smoke Salmon the size of my hand and twice as thick
3 Stuffed Mishrooms
4 Dumplings
Teriyaki Chicken
Fried Rice
Crab Ragoon
Crispy Chicken
+ No Tummyache= Happy Peter
Friday, December 26, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?
People say that I am CRUEL, MERCILESS, GREEDY, STUBBORN, AND MEAN.
I have to ask myself "How did I get this way?"
Maybe it's all of the broken promises that I had to endure.
Maybe it's all of those sacrifices that I made for others, expecting something back that never came back to me.
The fact that after everything that I did, all I got was the feeling of abandonment, which I know for a fact will never be consoled.
It could be the fact that I had to grow up so fast.
I thought that growing up fast meant that I would get ahead in life, but I guess not.
Not if you're tied down to something.
Not if by growing up fast and taking responsibilities automatically make you the person to depend on.
Especially not if those that depend on you make it so that your personal responsibilities come ahead of their own.
It's not fair.
No one said life was fair.
I've come to realize one thing.
You know those independent people who have their own careers that aren't disrupted by their families? Those people who have families that are completely independent and okay without them, but they are still close? Those families that recognize that they have their own lives to live and careers to fulfill?
That will never be me. I will always to the one who has to drop what I am doing for the family. The one who will be heavily criticized if I don't. The one who will always have to consider my family before me. Going out of state or even an hour away from the city will be a big issue. No matter what, I will never be free.
Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't born into a family where I felt stable, instead of feeling insecure and unsure about what could possibly happen next.
A family that thought ahead and prepared and kept their feet on the ground instead of living in dreamland.
I have to ask myself "How did I get this way?"
Maybe it's all of the broken promises that I had to endure.
Maybe it's all of those sacrifices that I made for others, expecting something back that never came back to me.
The fact that after everything that I did, all I got was the feeling of abandonment, which I know for a fact will never be consoled.
It could be the fact that I had to grow up so fast.
I thought that growing up fast meant that I would get ahead in life, but I guess not.
Not if you're tied down to something.
Not if by growing up fast and taking responsibilities automatically make you the person to depend on.
Especially not if those that depend on you make it so that your personal responsibilities come ahead of their own.
It's not fair.
No one said life was fair.
I've come to realize one thing.
You know those independent people who have their own careers that aren't disrupted by their families? Those people who have families that are completely independent and okay without them, but they are still close? Those families that recognize that they have their own lives to live and careers to fulfill?
That will never be me. I will always to the one who has to drop what I am doing for the family. The one who will be heavily criticized if I don't. The one who will always have to consider my family before me. Going out of state or even an hour away from the city will be a big issue. No matter what, I will never be free.
Sometimes I wonder why I wasn't born into a family where I felt stable, instead of feeling insecure and unsure about what could possibly happen next.
A family that thought ahead and prepared and kept their feet on the ground instead of living in dreamland.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
GRE Studying
Darn Verbal GRE score! Why won't you go up?
Why can't I memorize your vocab words like I did when I was a Junior in High School? It's only been 4 years!
What's going to happen when I take the real test? Are practice tests supposed to be harder than the real ones?
Oh well, at least my math in in the 700 range...
Why can't I memorize your vocab words like I did when I was a Junior in High School? It's only been 4 years!
What's going to happen when I take the real test? Are practice tests supposed to be harder than the real ones?
Oh well, at least my math in in the 700 range...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Sniff sniff cough cough
I'm getting over a cold.
My head feels stuffy
my throat won't unclog
I feel tired
and I still have to work.
however, these are one of the times that I am happy that I am an adult.
I remember elementary school, middle school, and high school felt like PURE H#LL when I had to go when I was sick.
omg, as if being sick wasn't bad enough, having to sit in a confining desk all day and do work and take quizzes!
I'm thankful at least that I can move around freely here...
My head feels stuffy
my throat won't unclog
I feel tired
and I still have to work.
however, these are one of the times that I am happy that I am an adult.
I remember elementary school, middle school, and high school felt like PURE H#LL when I had to go when I was sick.
omg, as if being sick wasn't bad enough, having to sit in a confining desk all day and do work and take quizzes!
I'm thankful at least that I can move around freely here...
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
My Dear Mom
I feel so bad for my mom right now.
Just because he had to buy this place so abruptly without thinking about it all the way through.
When he was getting ready to buy this place my mom and I both told him from the start that we had no intention of leaving California with him. He told us that he didn't need our help and went along with his plans. When he realized that his new store was just too much to handle by himself, he called my mom and asked for her help. He called me too and asked me to help during summer, but I declined because I couldn't just leave my job and summer school.
Mom however decided to support him and sold her store which gave her the luxury of leaving home after 9:30 am in the morning and come home before 6pm at night and still gave her the convenience of a 10 minute drive from home. She didn't have much choice on her part.
Now she's stuck in a business that runs 17 hrs a day 365 days a year!
Her store in California was situated in a upper middle class neighborhood so she usually dealt with nice people who were educated, professional, or retired but now she has to do business in a ghetto neighborhood.
I feel so frustrated. I know that when I go back to school next year things will be good for me, but how will I be able to sleep at night and enjoy life when I know that she's in this wasteland?
We were discussing my future today and she said to me "you have your own life to live. you have your own education to finish, your own friends to meet, and your own career to pursue. I can't keep you here and let you hold off on your life."
That broke my heart because I knew that she was talking about herself too. I understood how she must feel. Becoming newly widowed in a strange new town away from her home, friends, family and church. She only had less than two days to meet with her friends after it happened to vent and cry with them or be comforted by them before she had to go back. Mom never wanted to come here in the first place.
I guess I've learned from example that the role of a husband is to protect your wife and create stability for her and to never put your family in a vulnerable position.
Just because he had to buy this place so abruptly without thinking about it all the way through.
When he was getting ready to buy this place my mom and I both told him from the start that we had no intention of leaving California with him. He told us that he didn't need our help and went along with his plans. When he realized that his new store was just too much to handle by himself, he called my mom and asked for her help. He called me too and asked me to help during summer, but I declined because I couldn't just leave my job and summer school.
Mom however decided to support him and sold her store which gave her the luxury of leaving home after 9:30 am in the morning and come home before 6pm at night and still gave her the convenience of a 10 minute drive from home. She didn't have much choice on her part.
Now she's stuck in a business that runs 17 hrs a day 365 days a year!
Her store in California was situated in a upper middle class neighborhood so she usually dealt with nice people who were educated, professional, or retired but now she has to do business in a ghetto neighborhood.
I feel so frustrated. I know that when I go back to school next year things will be good for me, but how will I be able to sleep at night and enjoy life when I know that she's in this wasteland?
We were discussing my future today and she said to me "you have your own life to live. you have your own education to finish, your own friends to meet, and your own career to pursue. I can't keep you here and let you hold off on your life."
That broke my heart because I knew that she was talking about herself too. I understood how she must feel. Becoming newly widowed in a strange new town away from her home, friends, family and church. She only had less than two days to meet with her friends after it happened to vent and cry with them or be comforted by them before she had to go back. Mom never wanted to come here in the first place.
I guess I've learned from example that the role of a husband is to protect your wife and create stability for her and to never put your family in a vulnerable position.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
YAY for FOOD
Okay, so being stuck in a gas station with no kitchen has its disadvantages.
Unless you like to eat convenience store food ALL day.
Little Debbie Snacks and candy bars.
so yesterday,
I went shopping for Food at Sam's Club.
I picked up the essentials:
1. Cranberry Juice
2. Blueberry Muffins
3. Keebler Club Crackers
4. Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets
Now that I finally have food, I don't know what to do with it all...
Unless you like to eat convenience store food ALL day.
Little Debbie Snacks and candy bars.
so yesterday,
I went shopping for Food at Sam's Club.
I picked up the essentials:
1. Cranberry Juice
2. Blueberry Muffins
3. Keebler Club Crackers
4. Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets
Now that I finally have food, I don't know what to do with it all...
Monday, November 3, 2008
A NON- BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRE
I've come to realize that I am truly living the existance of a VAMPIRE.
---- Minus sucking the blood of course,
----or maybe an owl, on a less-disgusting note.
anyway,
my schedule:
6:15am-get up and shower
6:30am-open the store when it is still dark out and stay at the store until closing time (All meals, phone calls, and naps are taken inside of the store)
11:30pm- go home when it is dark.
I haven't experienced the sun in months, and when I do, it hurts my eyes...
in fact, just looking out the window for longer than five seconds hurts my eyes...
guess how white I've gotten!
---------
on another note, I'm scared....
Circuit City is closing 20% of their stores...
IHOP purchases APPLEBEES in an all-cash buyout...
more news like this on the way I suppose...
What's California going to be like when I go back?
---- Minus sucking the blood of course,
----or maybe an owl, on a less-disgusting note.
anyway,
my schedule:
6:15am-get up and shower
6:30am-open the store when it is still dark out and stay at the store until closing time (All meals, phone calls, and naps are taken inside of the store)
11:30pm- go home when it is dark.
I haven't experienced the sun in months, and when I do, it hurts my eyes...
in fact, just looking out the window for longer than five seconds hurts my eyes...
guess how white I've gotten!
---------
on another note, I'm scared....
Circuit City is closing 20% of their stores...
IHOP purchases APPLEBEES in an all-cash buyout...
more news like this on the way I suppose...
What's California going to be like when I go back?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)